Jesus started the whole wait three days thing — He waited three days to come back to life. It was perfect. If he’d have only waited one day, a lot of people wouldn’t have even heard that he died. They’d be all, ‘hey, Jesus, what up?’ And Jesus would probably be like, ‘what up? I died, yesterday!’ Then they would be all, ‘uh, you look pretty alive to me, dude.’ And then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected and how it was a miracle. And then the dude would be like, ‘uh okay, whatever you say, bro.’ He’s not gonna come back on a Saturday… Everybody’s busy doing chores. Working the loom, trimming their beards. No. He waits the exact right number of days; three. Plus, it’s Sunday, so everyone’s in church already. They’re all in there, ‘oh no, Jesus is dead.’ Then, bam! He bursts through the back door, runs up the aisle. Everyone’s totally psyched! And FYI, That’s when he invented the high five. Three days, Ted. We wait three days to call a woman, because that’s how long Jesus wants us to wait.
“I don’t need to go to a heart doctor. I drink everyday, I sleep three hours every night, and I have multiple sex partners. I’m doin’ everything right!”—-Barney Stinson (How I met your mother - A Change of Heart)
On this day, twelve years ago, thirty-seven people woke up in Columbine, Colorado, thinking it would be any normal Tuesday. Little did they know, their lives would be changed forever. In fact, thirteen of them would die that day, long before their time. The students of Columbine High School were unaware that they would be witness to the most brutal high school shooting in American history.
Barney: Let’s see, what club should we hit first? There’s club Was, there’s Wrong… Marshall: Uhm, those places shut douwn a long time ago… Barney: Oh no. Marhsall:Oh No shut down too. Ted: There’s Where. Jerry: Where’s Where? Lily:Where’s where’s Was was, isn’t it? Barney: No, Was wasn’t where Where was, Was was where Wrong was, right? Jerry: Okay! Ted: Not Okay, that place is lame. Robin:Okay is lame? I thought Lame was a gay bar, or is that Wrong? Marshall: That’s wrong. That’s not Wrong. Barney: Guys, focus! Robin: Oh, I like Focus, let’s go there! Ted: Where? Robin: Not Where, Focus! Lily: I thought Focus was closed. Barney: No, Was was closed, once Was shut down and reopened as Closed. Marshall: So Closed is open! Robin: No, Closed is closed. Jerry: I don’t know… third base, right! Robin: Ew, Third Base is all frat guys! Lily: I’ll go any place, okay? Ted: Not Okay! Okay is lame! Robin:Okay is not lame, Lame is a gay bar! Lily: Guys, shut up! Barney: No, Shut Up shut down. I can’t believe I don’t know the clubs anymore. Marshall: Guys, just pick a club, okay? Ted: Not Okay!! Everyone:Okay is lame, gay bar! Marshall: For the record, I was in there once by accident, I’m pretty sure it’s pronounced Lamé. Barney: It’s hopeless, isn’t it?